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- Boundaries the Build
This week, I did something that felt so refreshing—I said no to a project that didn’t align with my goals right now. It wasn’t easy (saying no never is!), but it immediately gave me clarity and opened up space for what truly matters.
Have you ever felt pulled in a million directions, unsure if your energy is going to the right things—or if it’s making any impact at all? If so, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle with this, which is why I want to talk about something that has completely transformed my life and business: setting boundaries.
Why Boundaries Matter for Growth
Let’s clear something up: boundaries aren’t about shutting people out or being difficult—they’re about protecting your energy and making room for the things that matter most. When you set clear boundaries, you’re essentially saying, “This is what I need to stay focused, happy, and productive.”
And guess what? Studies show that people who set boundaries experience less stress, get more done, and feel more satisfied in both their work and personal lives (American Psychological Association).
For me, learning to set boundaries was a turning point. When I first started my business, I said “yes” to everything because I thought being available 24/7 would help me grow faster. Instead, I felt burned out and scattered. The real change happened when I started saying “no” to distractions—things that didn’t align with my goals—and prioritizing the work that truly mattered. That shift didn’t just help my business; it helped me feel more in control of my life.
Does this sound familiar? If it does, you’re not alone. Many of us struggle to set limits because we don’t want to disappoint others. But trust me, boundaries aren’t just helpful—they’re necessary.
To dive deeper into why boundaries are so crucial for your success, check out this video. It’s packed with insights that can help you take control of your time and energy starting today.
Examples of Boundaries You Can Set
Here are some actionable boundaries to help protect your time and energy:
Time Boundaries:
Set specific hours for work and personal time, and stick to them.
Tool: Use an online scheduler like Calendly to automate appointments and avoid overbooking.
Video Resource: Time Management Strategies That Work
Communication Boundaries:
Only check emails or messages during designated times.
Tool: Set up auto-responders to inform clients when they can expect a response.
Video Resource: The Art of Saying No Without Guilt
Workload Boundaries:
Limit how many clients or projects you take on at one time to maintain quality and avoid burnout.
Real Reason: Quality work builds your reputation more than quantity ever will.
Energy Boundaries:
Say no to opportunities that don’t align with your goals, even if they seem good.
Tool: Create a checklist to evaluate whether an opportunity aligns with your long-term vision.
Video Resource: How to Protect Your Energy
How to Communicate Boundaries Effectively
Setting boundaries is one thing; communicating them effectively is where the real work comes in. Boundaries often involve other people, which means how you present them matters. The goal is to make sure your boundaries are understood and respected without causing unnecessary tension. Here’s a deeper look at how to communicate boundaries in a way that feels natural, clear, and guilt-free:
1. Be Clear
When you set a boundary, don’t leave room for misinterpretation. Vagueness can confuse the other person and leave them unsure of your expectations. Being clear and direct helps eliminate any guesswork and makes it easier for others to respect your limits.
How to Do It: Use simple, straightforward language to express your boundary. Avoid overexplaining or justifying yourself—your boundary is valid on its own.
Example: Instead of saying, “I’m really busy most of the day, but I might be able to squeeze you in,” say, “I’m available for appointments between 10 AM and 4 PM. Let me know which time works for you.”
Why It Works: Clarity leaves no room for negotiation, and it helps set expectations right away.
2. Be Respectful
Boundaries should never feel like a rejection or a shutdown. Using positive, respectful language ensures that the person on the other end feels valued even as you enforce your limits. This can strengthen relationships while still protecting your time and energy.
How to Do It: Show gratitude or appreciation before stating your boundary. This softens the delivery and makes it clear that you’re not trying to dismiss the other person.
Example: “Thank you for thinking of me. Right now, my focus is on other priorities, but I really appreciate you reaching out.”
Why It Works: Respectful communication reduces the likelihood of conflict and builds mutual understanding. People are more likely to honor your boundaries when they feel respected.
3. Be Consistent
The hardest part of boundaries is sticking to them, especially if you’re used to being overly flexible or accommodating. If you waver or make exceptions too often, people will start to assume your boundaries are negotiable. Consistency is key to maintaining credibility and ensuring your limits are respected.
How to Do It: Once you set a boundary, stick to it. If someone pushes back, politely remind them of your original statement.
Example: If someone asks for a meeting outside your stated hours, you could say, “I understand this seems urgent, but I need to stick to my availability between 10 AM and 4 PM. Can we work within those hours?”
Why It Works: Consistency reinforces the seriousness of your boundaries. Over time, people will come to respect and adapt to them without further pushback.
Additional Tips for Effective Communication
Anticipate Pushback: Some people may struggle to accept your boundaries at first. Stay firm, and remind yourself that setting limits is about your well-being, not about pleasing everyone.
Practice Ahead of Time: If setting boundaries feels uncomfortable, practice what you’ll say. This will help you feel more confident when the moment arises.
Use “I” Statements: Framing your boundary as something you need rather than something the other person is doing wrong can prevent defensiveness.
Example: “I need to focus on family time during the evenings, so I won’t be available after 6 PM.”
Have a Backup Plan: If someone doesn’t respect your boundary, be prepared to enforce it. This could mean rescheduling, delegating, or stepping away from the situation if needed.
A Book to Dive Deeper
If this topic speaks to you, I highly recommend reading “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. This book provides incredible insights into why boundaries matter, how to set them effectively, and how they can transform your personal and professional relationships.
The Bigger Picture
Here’s the thing: boundaries aren’t just about avoiding overwhelm or saying no to things you don’t want to do. They’re actually about growth. Think of them like the guardrails on a mountain road—they don’t restrict your freedom; they make it possible for you to move forward safely and confidently.
When you start saying no to the things that don’t serve you—whether it’s unnecessary tasks, draining people, or commitments that don’t align with your goals—you suddenly create room for the things that do matter.
Maybe it’s more time to focus on growing your business.
Maybe it’s carving out space to finally start that hobby you’ve been putting off.
Or maybe it’s just having uninterrupted moments with your family at the end of the day.
For me, setting boundaries was the shift I didn’t know I needed. When I started protecting my time and energy, I was able to show up 100% for the things that mattered most to me. And honestly, the people around me respected me more for it.
Your Challenge
This week, I challenge you to set one boundary—just one. It doesn’t have to be big or dramatic. Maybe it’s deciding that you’ll only answer work emails during a certain time of day. Maybe it’s saying no to a request that doesn’t align with your goals.
Whatever it is, start small. The goal is to take one step toward protecting your energy and creating space for what really matters.
When you do, I’d love to hear about it! Reply to this email and let me know what boundary you’re working on. I’d love to cheer you on and celebrate your progress.
Wishing you clarity and growth,
Amber
P.S. Don’t forget to reply and share what boundary you’re working on—I’d love to cheer you on!
Amber Gist
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